Due north.

 "I know my moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but if I say something's wrong, something's wrong." In the movie, 27 Dresses, actress Judy Greer recites this line to Katherine Heigl's character. Katherine, who is a people-pleaser and usually so nice, has just finished a very unkind, publicly humiliating rant towards her sister, played by Malin Ackerman. Rather than lecturing and being judgmental towards her best friend, Judy replies with the moral compass comment. That scene, and in particular, that line, has always stuck with me. 

The idea of always pointing exactly due north all the time is sometimes challenging. How far off of north do I sway? Usually, only a tad. A bit. Slightly. Perhaps, 1:00 rather than 12-noon. Kind of like the pictures below, where every line is angled just slightly askew.

 

I've never sailed. Watching the sailboats this weekend was fun; there were so many of them. They start from the north and as a group of about 15 or 20 boats, they all sail to the south, circling around buoys in several figure-eight formations, and then head back to the starting point.The amount of effort to "right" the boat from tipping over into the water when it's listing so far to one side seems incredibly difficult. It takes more than one person leaning as far back as possible to keep that delicate balance between staying afloat and submerging.

In times when I have revealed the less-than flattering side of me, I cherish the friends who care enough about me to say the words that set me straight and keep me afloat, and not stand by as I completely submerge.

23 days & a wake-up

Twenty-three days and a wake-up.  But who's counting? When Kelly leaves Afghanistan in 23 days, on September 30th, it'll take him a full week to get back to Kansas City, via Kuwait City & Ft. Bliss, TX. That's thirty days and a wake-up for us. When he left on January 6th, it seemed like October was such a long way off, and yet, here we are. Just 23 more days and a wake-up!

In some ways, our lives have gone through many changes over the past nine months. Plans have been unexpectedly rearranged. Things didn't go exactly the way we had anticipated. There have been some ups and downs. Most of those changes seemed to happen outside of our control. 

One of the changes I purposefully made in April was a dedicated effort to my health; physical and mental health. I became reacquainted with my bicycle, walking shoes and yoga mat. The local bike trails have helped me to clear my mind, reduce stress and enjoy the beauty of our area. The moderate temperatures this spring and summer have been a blessing and made for perfect riding and walking. This summer, I joined a weekly, early morning yoga class at the marina of Shawnee Mission Lake; about 15-20 people gathered at 6:45 am to watch the sun rise, listen to the geese & birds and feel the breeze as we attempted to hold poses on a gently swaying dock. 

Last week, Ian had the opportunity to mow a friend's pasture, so I slung my camera around my neck and brought my bike along and rode trails and roads I'd never been on before. It was a beautiful cool morning and the sun broke through the trees along the pathways. 

Kansassumptions

I had lunch with two of my favorite people today; we had yummy food and great conversations spanning topics of family, religion, work, theater, music, photography, travel and food... I'm pretty sure we didn't solve a single one of the world's more complex problems during that (almost) three hour lunch, but it was lovely, just the same. 

They asked me about my trip last week to a Mississippi hospital where I did a staff training and we talked about how hospital policies can vary vastly based on an institution's (or staff member's) ideas, attitudes and backgrounds. Sometimes the variance in a policy has nothing to do with evidence or scientific reasoning, but is system-centered or based on the convenience of the staff; sort of the "we've always done it like this in the past" way of thinking. This particular hospital had some policies that were very outdated; I don't often see the extremely restrictive visitation policies or ideas on when parents can hold their babies like in this particular hospital. Is it because it's in the South? Is this typical Mississippi? It's so easy to generalize and lump everyone into the same bucket, but I've trained staff at hospitals in Florida, Texas, Georgia, Birmingham and Huntsville, and I know it doesn't have to be like this.

That conversation got me thinking about how I'm perceived as a Kansan when I travel. People think they know who you are when you say you're from Kansas. They assume things about you. Dorothy and ruby slippers almost always slip into the conversation. I usually am asked if I own a horse. I once had someone say they had expected me to be wearing fringe. What does that even mean? Someone else told me I was dressed very cosmopolitan for being from the midwest. Awesome. Every once in a while, when I say I'm from Kansas City, I may be asked "Kansas or Missouri" so I know all is not lost. 

Some of the most condescending conversations have been with people who have only seen my State from 30,000 feet. What they "know" about my Kansas is a patchwork quilt of greens, yellows and golds, a blurred vision from a hurried glance out of a tiny, smudged window before quickly looking back to their magazine. They have no connection to the people or the land or to the history of the plains.

This past week, you may have seen the article that made national news proclaiming Kansas as the least scenic State in the nation. I'm not exactly sure how the data was collected, but I'm wondering if those who completed the survey had ever been in the State of Kansas, or were they just making an assumption of what they thought Kansas looked like. The ensuing photographs of the rolling Flint hills, golden wheat fields, endless sunflowers and green pastures flooded social media from those who think Kansas is full of beautiful scenery. I really enjoyed seeing so many photographs of my home State, many of which I had never seen before. Where are those chalky rock formations? Kansas has water falls? ...huh. (On a side note, my parent's 54th wedding anniversary is today and they just happen to be in Cottonwood Falls for the night - I hope they bring me back a photograph of the water fall!)

So, a couple of nights ago on my bike ride, I took some photos at Shawnee Mission Park in my beautiful State of Kansas. Below are three. I have always thought Kansas is beautiful. 

I'm not sure why I love this tree so much, but we have pictures of it through the years and through three seasons. This winter, I'm hoping for a beautiful snow fall to capture this in white!

Courage Zone

I love being in the middle of the comfort zone. It's so cozy and secure. Safe and easy. Unfortunately, it tends to be very boring. There is something so invigorating, if not slightly terrifying, to wade into waters yet to be explored, to move beyond that position of security into something new and untried. It's not always a natural step; it can take a lot of courage. Some times the way someone moves out of their comfort zone is through coaxing, or even a gentle (or not so gentle) push from a friend.

I've recently been a witness to several people moving beyond their level of comfort and into new areas, expanding their idea of what they can accomplish and feeling proud of their ability to make the most out of their new opportunities. I'm inspired by their acts of bravery and their willingness to be vulnerable in trying new things.

As I look back at some of the photographs I've taken through the years, there is a theme of searching or wandering that runs through so many of the pictures. There are many photos of pathways, winding roads, twisting sidewalks, subway tracks - I've never really thought about the grouping until now. As I make those pictures, I always wonder what's beyond the bend in the road, what's on the other side of that door, where does that track lead and who might I find at the end of the path? I like the sense of movement in those pictures; an idea that there is something waiting to be discovered if we're willing to take a walk in a new direction.

Yellowstone, 2010

Missouri, 2012

Shawnee Mission Park, 2013

Provence, France 2011

Paris, 2011

France, 2011

France, 2011

France, 2011

Florence, Italy 2013

Florence, Italy, 2013

Lucca, Italy, 2013

Italy, 2013

Viviers, France, 2011

Sharing the highlights and mundane

"My Precious Loulie...":
Love letters of the Civil War--J.C. Morris

---

"I am in hopes that I will get a whole package of letters from you in a few days. I never wanted to see you half as bad in all my life as I do now."

---

Camp near Lanjer, Ark.

May 10th 1863.

My Dear Amanda,
It has been a long time since I had an opportunity of writing to you, and I gladly avail myself of the present opportunity. I am not certain that I will have a chance of sending this but I will write a few lines any how and try and get it off to let you know that I am among the living.

We have been on a raid into Ms. but I have not time to give you the particulars of our trip. I will write in a few days if I can get a chance to send it and write you a long one. I just came off of picket and found the boys all writing to send by a man that has been discharged who is going to start home this morning. I was quite sick three or four days while in Mo. but have entirely recovered. We captured a good many prisoners while in Mo. and killed a good many. We went up as high as Jackson 8 or 10 miles above Cape Girardeau. We fought them nearly all day at the Cape on Sunday two weeks ago today. The yanks boasted that we would never get back to Ark but they were badly mistaken, for we are back again and have sustained but very light loss, we never lost a man out of our company and only one or two out of the regt. I wish I had time to give you a full description of our trip. It would be very interesting to you I know; but you will have to put up with this little scrawl for the present. I am in hopes that I will get a whole package of letters from you in a few days. I never wanted to see you half as bad in all my life as I do now. I would give anything in the world to see you and the children. I have no idea when I will have that pleasure. We can't get any news here - do not know what is going on in the outside world. The boys will all write as soon as they get a chance to send them off.

We will remain in this vicinity, I expect for some time to recruit our horses. Our horses are sadly worsted. We found plenty to eat and to feed our horses on in Mo but hardly even had time to feed or eat as we traveled almost insesantly night and day. We could get any amount of bacon of the very best kind at 10 cts and every thing else in proportion.

I must close for fear I do not get to send my letter off. Write offten I will get them some time. I will write every chance, do not be uneasy when you do not get letters, for when we are scouting around as we have been it is impossible to write or to send them off if we did write. Give my love to the old Lady and all the friends. My love and a thousand kisses to my own sweet Amanda and our little boys. How my heart yearns for thou that are so near and dear to me. Goodbye my own sweet wife, for the present. Direct to Little Rock as ---.

As ever your devoted and loving Husband, J.C. Morris.

Having to wait weeks, or a month, to hear from her loved one at war would have been horrible. The absence of information from him in between letters would have set her imagination into overdrive, thinking about all possible scenarios of mishap or doom. Some of the content of his letter included details of missions that would have been distressing for her to read or to process. I can only imagine the feeling of exhilaration or joy in seeing an envelope delivered to her mailbox; what a welcome sight, giving her a brief moment of relief and offering a chance to relax and give thanks for his safety. ...and then, set to wait for the next letter, weeks down the road. What a constant up and down cycle.

I can't imagine her world, mine is so different. It doesn't say where their home was, but her man was in Arkansas, Mississippi and Missouri, and it still took weeks or more to get a letter from him, and then more weeks for her response to be delivered to him. Kelly is halfway around the globe, and yet, my communication, even with the 10 hour time zone difference, is instantaneous.  A simple, free phone call or a quick internet connection through Skype, and we are connected. Talking, seeing each other, sharing the highlights or the mundaneness of our days, immediately connected. Our kids call or Skype him whenever they want to chat, or need his help or advise. On Mother's Day, Kelly was Skyping with Ian and me, while Isabel was on speaker phone from Manhattan; it was such a gift to have the whole family together on that day!

As recent as 2009, the military had blocked Facebook access and Skype capabilities for their deployed soldiers and civilians because of concerns over security breaches. After a three year study of over 8,000 families conducted by the DoD on social media's impact on deployment, the military is shifting their view on how families communicate, and what that means in terms of coping during the separation, and reintegration into the home after the assignment is finished.

Father's Day 2013

Saturday morning chat with Dad

Dinner Group

Sporting the new Sporting KC jersey!

Even though Kelly and I have the opportunity to talk everyday, J.C. Morris sure knows how to end a conversation:

How my heart yearns for thou that are so near and dear to me. Goodbye my own sweet wife, for the present. Direct to Little Rock as ---.

As ever your devoted and loving Husband, J.C. Morris.

Overland Park Farmer's Market

It was a beautiful morning at the Overland Park Farmer's Market today. Not too hot, not too crowded. There were lots of bright, colorful fruits and vegetables, as you would expect. But you can also find the less-traditional market items like soap, honey sticks, incredible homemade caramels (Look them up on Facebook: Oishii Studio Sweets) 

I became kinda mesmerized by the sunflower farmer - he was working half in and half out of the sunlight, mixing flowers, adding pinks and greens to the giant yellows. He kept turning to his customer to see if they liked his creation, and then would add more until he got it just right. 

I love this part of Kansas City. It really does have a small town feel to it, and many times we run into people we know. Lucky day! I felt a tap on my shoulder and had the opportunity to catch up with a former Children's Mercy NICU family! Her baby, now 14 months old, is doing amazing!