Laura Miller: Sharing the highlights and mundane

"My Precious Loulie...":
Love letters of the Civil War--J.C. Morris

"I am in hopes that I will get a whole package of letters from you in a few days. I never wanted to see you half as bad in all my life as I do now."

Camp near Lanjer, Ark.

May 10th 1863.

My Dear Amanda,
It has been a long time since I had an opportunity of writing to you, and I gladly avail myself of the present opportunity. I am not certain that I will have a chance of sending this but I will write a few lines any how and try and get it off to let you know that I am among the living.

We have been on a raid into Ms. but I have not time to give you the particulars of our trip. I will write in a few days if I can get a chance to send it and write you a long one. I just came off of picket and found the boys all writing to send by a man that has been discharged who is going to start home this morning. I was quite sick three or four days while in Mo. but have entirely recovered. We captured a good many prisoners while in Mo. and killed a good many. We went up as high as Jackson 8 or 10 miles above Cape Girardeau. We fought them nearly all day at the Cape on Sunday two weeks ago today. The yanks boasted that we would never get back to Ark but they were badly mistaken, for we are back again and have sustained but very light loss, we never lost a man out of our company and only one or two out of the regt. I wish I had time to give you a full description of our trip. It would be very interesting to you I know; but you will have to put up with this little scrawl for the present. I am in hopes that I will get a whole package of letters from you in a few days. I never wanted to see you half as bad in all my life as I do now. I would give anything in the world to see you and the children. I have no idea when I will have that pleasure. We can't get any news here - do not know what is going on in the outside world. The boys will all write as soon as they get a chance to send them off.

We will remain in this vicinity, I expect for some time to recruit our horses. Our horses are sadly worsted. We found plenty to eat and to feed our horses on in Mo but hardly even had time to feed or eat as we traveled almost insesantly night and day. We could get any amount of bacon of the very best kind at 10 cts and every thing else in proportion.

I must close for fear I do not get to send my letter off. Write offten I will get them some time. I will write every chance, do not be uneasy when you do not get letters, for when we are scouting around as we have been it is impossible to write or to send them off if we did write. Give my love to the old Lady and all the friends. My love and a thousand kisses to my own sweet Amanda and our little boys. How my heart yearns for thou that are so near and dear to me. Goodbye my own sweet wife, for the present. Direct to Little Rock as ---.

As ever your devoted and loving Husband, J.C. Morris.

Having to wait weeks, or a month, to hear from her loved one at war would have been horrible. The absence of information from him in between letters would have set her imagination into overdrive, thinking about all possible scenarios of mishap or doom. Some of the content of his letter included details of missions that would have been distressing for her to read or to process. I can only imagine the feeling of exhilaration or joy in seeing an envelope delivered to her mailbox; what a welcome sight, giving her a brief moment of relief and offering a chance to relax and give thanks for his safety. ...and then, set to wait for the next letter, weeks down the road. What a constant up and down cycle.

I can't imagine her world, mine is so different. It doesn't say where their home was, but her man was in Arkansas, Mississippi and Missouri, and it still took weeks or more to get a letter from him, and then more weeks for her response to be delivered to him. Kelly is halfway around the globe, and yet, my communication, even with the 10 hour time zone difference, is instantaneous. A simple, free phone call or a quick internet connection through Skype, and we are connected. Talking, seeing each other, sharing the highlights or the mundaneness of our days, immediately connected. Our kids call or Skype him whenever they want to chat, or need his help or advise. On Mother's Day, Kelly was Skyping with Ian and me, while Isabel was on speaker phone from Manhattan; it was such a gift to have the whole family together on that day!

As recent as 2009, the military had blocked Facebook access and Skype capabilities for their deployed soldiers and civilians because of concerns over security breaches. After a three year study of over 8,000 families conducted by the DoD on social media's impact on deployment, the military is shifting their view on how families communicate, and what that means in terms of coping during the separation, and reintegration into the home after the assignment is finished.